DHOOM3 REVIEW

So,near an overtly loud, burping lady
watched Dhoom3 which surely tests the law of gravity
with the leading men flying bikes high in the air.
Poor Newton he'd surely be pulling out his hair.
Aamir Khan steals the show with his class act
he looks dapper in waistcoat donning a bowling hat.
He's endearing with his furrowed brows and all
he makes you laugh, sigh and bawl.

Katrina breezes through like a whiff of unwanted air
you suddenly realise in the movie " oh yeah she's there"!
Abhishek makes a good cop like he did in Dhoom 1 and Dhoom2,
But sadly here with tapori Uday Chopra,
there's really not much work to do.
He rides through brick walls in Amchi Mumbai rickshaws
leaving you spluttering with helpless guffaws.

It is indeed an Aamir Khan movie all the way
leave all logic at home, with popcorn in hand,
go watch it anyway.
Watch it for the free visual tour of Chicago
for electrifying stunts and if for Aamir
or AB baby you go gung ho.
I went with no expectations and came out happy,
wondering whether there'll be more Dhoom after this illogical, dhamakedaar Dhoom3!

RIP Nelson

RIP Nelson adorns walls on Facebook and every social site
He had said,” It ain’t matter if you’re black or white,
As long as you have a good heart and a good head and you do what’s right.”

But, today as I took a walk along the beach, I faced a great irony,
Where, the ‘whites’ were getting a sun tan in the sweltering heat at three.
And as I looked away, I saw Sharukh Khan smiling from a billboard at me
Silently whispering, “Kaaley hain toh kya hua,
Fair and Lovely use karo and you’ll be chikna and gora or gori gori.”

And, on this humorous note I bid farewell to Nelson Mandela, the great
Sir, please do request the almighty for more stalwarts like you,
Hurry....don’t delay as black or white, caste or creed discrimination......that’s our global fate.


Picture courtesy: comicvine.com

Height of Ignorance

As I walked to the park one balmy day
I saw a young girl along the way.
She was sitting on a bench all alone,
crying, desolate and forlorn.
I walked up and asked, “Why do you cry?”
But, for a moment, got no reply.
She frantically replied, “Gorblimey!
The porn I watched has impregnated me.”
At first, I was baffled, I didn’t understand
And then at her ignorance I guffawed, “Oh man!”
“How many movies did you watch?” I asked teasingly
“Three”, she replied, dolefully.

I straight facedly said, “Oh, you watched three movies of porn.
Now, not one, but three offspring will be born.”
She looked at me aghast with fear in her eyes
I thought no more teasing, I’d better make her realise
And said, “Go home and Google ‘How babies are born?’
You need a male counterpart for sure, darling
But...it’s definitely not possible through solitarily watching porn.

BMc's Manequinn Madness

Dear BMC,

I guffawed when I read the headlines in the tabloids yesterday,
where your councillors have proposed a  ban on skimpy clad mannequins in " Amchi" Bombay.
You may feel this ban will reduce sexual crimes against the fairer race
if you cover up these lifeless lifelike dolls staring down at your face.
But, how did you ever come up with such a ludicrous proposition
is beyond my imagination and shows your  organisation's mental retrogradation.
Seriously, dear councillors no man will ever get any ejaculatory pleasure
by staring lasciviously at dummies made of plaster of Paris or other glass fiber.
On the contrary, they may suffer from an erectile dysfunction
if they contemplate on getting from a dummy any libidinous satisfaction.
Why not ban the "free for all" display of male urination at railway tracks and public places,
We women do not enjoy the sight of strange "one eyed snakes",
peering at our disgusted faces.

So, Ladies and gentlemen of the " esteemed" BMC 
please rethink your moral policing proposal more sensibly.
Such a plan will not curb rapes or other sexual crimes,
rather, come up with a strategy which will keep " humans" in line.
Leave the bechara mannequins alone,
the thought of no branded CK, Victoria's Secret, M&S will leave them desolate and forlorn.
I'm sure there's enough work to keep you councillors gainfully busy,
so, please don't waste time on such jocular, meaningless, mindless triviality.

From,
A ROTFLMAO Bombayite

YEH JAWAANI HAIN DIWANI- Kaisi hain yeh filmi kahaani!!

Yeh jawani hain diwani is a pretty drab and lonnnnnnng Kahaani,
where boy meets girl and girl falls in love with boy on a trek in Manali.
But he has dreams to achieve and miles to go before he sleeps
so he doesn't allow his " Badtameez Dil" for her go Dhak Dhak or leap.

This movie cannot be juxtaposed with " Zindagi naa milegi Dobara,
It's more a movie on mixed idealogies,
encompassing a mundane love and friendship drama.
YJHD is a good looking movie but lacks a good storyline,
it tries to be preachy and at times childishly sublime.
The Naach and the Gaana happens more often, than not,
and hampers the pace of the film and weakens the plot.
This movie is a typical masala flick, a bit zany and breezy,
but, not refreshingly different like the " Wake up Sid" of Mr.Ayan Mukherji.
There's nothing left to imagination with the "in your face" skin show,
unlike the 1990s where we wondered " Choli ke peeche kya hain" two decades ago.

Deepika is commendable as the bespectacled medical student, silently in love; Naina
Moving ably from geeky girl to sexy contact lensed lass baring her " Patli kamariya".
Aditya Roy Kapoor proves he can act well as a flirt and a bearded alcoholic
But I hope not to see him with a daru bottle in his next Hindi flick.
Kalki is superb with her anglicized hindi accent too
transitioning effortlessly from Tom boy to a beautiful "Honewali Indian Bahu".
And as usual my favourite Ranbir Kapoor is brilliant as always
effortlessly fitting into his role as Bunny, flirtatious and focused in many ways.
Be it his dialogue delivery, facial expressions or his smooth dancing moves,
this man is a Rockstar...he surely gets you into the groove.

So Yeh Jawaani Hain Diwani is not all that bad a Bollywood flick,
The choreography, acting and cinematography is pretty slick.
The editors could've snipped the film a bit more,
but, if you've got a large tub of caramel popcorn and great company,
go ahead watch this masalaedaar movie and enjoy the show.

A Different Kind of Love Letter

I cannot take my eyes of you, 
all dressed in white with blotches of black and red,
and colour of chocolate spread generously,
over a slice of white bread.
I love the way you gaze at me 
and you know I love it too.
You know how my heart beats for you, my darling,
I don't need to utter those three little words " I love you".

It was love at first sight from our first meet,
that happened years ago.
And from that moment till today, 
it's difficult to let you go.

As I  reach out slowly to touch you, 
I can feel beads of sweat trickle down my head
I've held you in my hands before,
but this time nervousness has taken over instead.

I feel your softness on my lips,
a shiver goes down my spine.
But it's just you, me and the silver spoon,
Aaaaah ..NUTELLA...you are indeed, blissfully divine. ;)

Has the F word replaced the infamous "Shit"?

A few days ago, I read a book written by a renowned Indian author. The book was well written with an interesting storyline and a nail biting finish but I came across the infamous “Fuck” in nearly every chapter where; either the protagonist or his mates or his girlfriend used it with great alacrity. That made me wonder as to what has happened to good old English where the F word was never mentioned in any of the books we read as children or never caressed our lips like it does now. It seems more a slap across the cheek than a caress. It’s like “Here a fuck, there a fuck, everywhere a fuck, fuck!”

Earlier we used “Oh no”, a normal reaction if something was unsatisfactory or fallacious. The “oh no” was unconsciously replaced by “Oh Shit”. So, if something went wrong we’d go “Oh Shit” or “Shit, shit, shit!!” Not that the problem would be solved by constant use of this defecating word.
I remember a few years back I bought a book “Oh Shit not again” written by an Indian author. I seriously don’t know what made me do so. I should’ve guessed from the title itself that it was “Shit” and I said to myself “ Oh shit never again” after reading this horrendous piece of so called literature.

I use the word “Shit” a lot. But, after having offspring of my own, the word “Shit” has been consciously shortened to “Shhhh” or an “oh shit” to “Ohsssshh”. I don’t want the little sod going “shit” whenever he does something naughty because then I’m sure it would be used throughout the day. And, I’ve got enough of his shit to clean up anyway. (Please excuse the smutty writing).

But, now the “Oh shit” or “Shit” has been replaced by “Oh Fuck” or “Fuck” respectively. So, if a person is angry with someone, he or she volleys out the expletive “Fuck you, B@#$%%*!” with great fervor.
When you refer to a dictionary “Fuck” means ‘To have sexual intercourse with’ or ‘an act of sexual intercourse’. So, when a person says “Fuck you” or “ Fuck off” , does he mean that you have to have sexual intercourse with yourself? Is that humanly possible? Are we asexual? Or does he mean “Go masturbate”. It’s a pretty perplexing and a befuddling statement, if I may say so.

The ridiculous part is that this word is part of all the Websters, Colins, Oxford dictionaries of the world and God knows myriads more. It seems to have originated in 1475 . In ancient England a person could not have sex unless you had consent of the King (unless you were in the Royal Family). When anyone wanted to have a baby, they got consent of the King, the King gave them a placard that they hung on their door while they were having sex. The placard had F.*.*.*. (Fornication Under Consent of the King) on it. Now you know where that came from.
(Imagine if such permission was needed from the Prime Minister or President of India, we surely wouldn't be as populous a nation as we are today.)

We hear it in movies be it Hollywood or Bollywood...(hmmmm not yet, only the finger is shown) and in songs. It’s even part of the name of a music group, LMFAO. How original!! Though in Bollywood, thanks to our “Mary Magdalene most holy” censor board, a kiss is looked at as distasteful and irrelevant in a movie too.
Personally, the only problem which I foresee is our offspring or nieces, nephews, etc picking up one of these books written by authors who use this word in their so called literary works as randomly as they use the conjunction “And”. But, I guess the word “Fuck” is here to stay and I've to learn to accept the inevitable where in time that expletive would be replaced by another profane, obscene, vulgar word. And, then “Fuck” won’t sound so mind numbing or shocking like it did or does today. I guess we’ll all have to wait and see. Till then I’ll be content with the other F word….Food.

A Love gone crazy

He saw her standing at the market place,
the same effervescent smile lit her face.
It took him down memory lane twenty years ago,
where from friends to lovers, they did grow.
He loved her passionately with all his heart,
He couldn't fathom staying from her apart.
But one summer's day, she migrated to a new land
and he was left a lonely  man.
She tearfully bid farewell before she left,
But this made him angry and bereft.
And in the most abhorrent way, 
He said " I hate you, please go away!"
She stood silently and stared at him,
his words had cut her from within.
She left him standing all alone,
he repentant of his misdemeanor and forlorn.

She saw him standing at the market place,
staring at her effervescent face.
She smiled and towards him walked,
it had been awhile since they had talked.
His heart for her still, did pound,
he could hear the deafening palpitation sound.
But before they could start their overdue chat
a man approached her in a tweed suit and a bowling hat.
She told him " I'll meet you at the cafe in sometime,
I need to catch up with this old friend of mine."
The man in the hat bowed, smiled and walked away.
He looked at her, he didn't know what to say.
He realised she had married and had her own brood.
He could feel an alteration in his happy mood.
He said " You better get back to your husband, don't make him wait,
I better get going, I can't be late."
She laughed and said " He's my brother, don't you remember,
playing cops and robbers with him in those cold Novembers.
I never did marry, I could never love again.
I loved only once but that brought me pain."
He wept bitterly, tears streamed down his eyes,
" Please forgive me, you know my retortion was all lies.
I loved you then and I love you now too.
I couldn't bear the thought of being separated from you."

" There he is, there is that mad man,
Hurry! Hurry get him into the van."
Three nurses  caught him, whilst he fought to let go,
he raved and ranted till he couldn't anymore.
She stood still in shock as to the St. Louis asylum, he was driven away,
if only she had forgiven him then, he wouldn't be a lunatic today.

A " Threatening" Anniversary

He'd come home from work and watch football everyday.
Whilst she in the kitchen toiled and slogged away.
He with his boxers and she with her apron
he in front of the idiot box and she in the kitchen.

On 12 April 2012, 
They completed five years of wedded "bliss"
she was hoping he'd surprise her
for putting up with his football " neurosis".

She hoped he'd leave work early 
and sweep her of her feet soon.
He hadn't wished her in the morn 
and now it was way past noon.

He entered the driveway hurriedly.
It was at half past four
Took off his tie and shoes
and threw his  briefcase on the floor.

He ran and turned on  the television.
There was again an "important"  match.
" Arsensal" vs " Manchester United"
Now this was a game he had to catch.

She heard his voice in the drawing room
yelling loud and happy cheers.
She ran from the kitchen to greet him happily
but was met with a table full of Budweisers.

She stood in front of the screen
and asked him " Do you know what day it is today?"
He looked at her irritatedly and said " It's the premier league final,
Darling move aside, you're standing in my way!"

" I can't believe you forgot our anniversary
But you remembered your game.
You haven't wished or kissed me at all
aren't you in the least bit ashamed."

He said " Now my dear don't over react.
I will wish you in sometime.
This match will end in 90 minutes.
go pour yourself a glass of wine."

The wife could take his football obsession no more
Finally she decided, she had to come up with a cure.
She ran to the bedroom and from his side drawer pulled out his gun
smiled to herself and said " now let's have some anniversary fun."

She went up to him and pointed the gun to his head
" If you don't stop this football mania at once,
you'll be watching football from heaven  
with the twelve apostles,  instead!"

He knew she could do it.
He could see murder in her eyes.
A year has passed since then,
the happy couple's now blessed with a bonny baby boy!!

The " Harlem Shake"

He jumped up from his sleep at 7 Am to harsh, grating sounds
No pleasure to his senile ears, they made his heart pound.
He got up from his bed and put on his night robe,
but as he got closer to the music, it  hurt his ear lobes.

He peeked into the drawing room and was astounded to see
his rotund wife and her rotund friends gyrating vigorously.
They were dancing to the  famous " Harlem Shake"
causing in the neighborhood, a mild earthquake.

The wife suddenly turned and caught her husband's stares
She blushed in embarrassment to be caught unaware.
He smiled, it was indeed an amusing sight
to see three scores and ten (70 years) ladies shaking their "booty" left and right.

She said " We've got to record this for our Facebook friends to see
the " Harlem shake" done by ladies in their early seventies.
Darling, get the camcorder and record it soon
It needs to be uploaded on YouTube way before noon."

The poor old man tottered away with nothing more to say,
he thought to himself " Her orders, I better hurriedly obey,
Lest she'll make me dance to the " Harlem Shake"
for five decades to her tunes I did obediently gyrate.
But this old doddering body can take no more!
If I've to do the " Harlem Shake", 
I'll soon be "knock knock knocking on heaven's door!"

An " Abstained" Wedding Night

It was a bright, sunny day of Spring,
where they both exchanged diamond studded wedding rings,
amongst a crowd of over a hundred
friends, colleagues, kith and kindred.

They wed on March 1st,  the beginning of the Lenten season,
The groom was overtly religious and didn't want a grand celebration.
He was against the serving of Whiskys, Rums and spirits of any kind
so to the toast, everyone raised their glasses filled with grape juice and not red wine.

The bride agreed to all the grooms whims and fancies,
she knew a wedding day to a marriage had less sanctity.
She was happy to spend the rest of her life with her love from work
though he had his own oddities and peculiar quirks.

Finally the reception ended, they rushed to their hotel room,
she sat on the bed gazing lovingly at her groom.
She sat close to him, whilst he slowly undressed
her hand on his thigh, she gently caressed.

But as her fingers moved upwards, he moved away.
He said " No no darling, we can't make love today!"
She asked, " Why??", with a quizzical expression
" Isn't the wedding night meant to be a night of memorable passion!"

He turned away and said " I'm sorry but it's lent, I'll have to abstain.
Don't worry after Easter, I'll be all yours on our honeymoon in Spain."
She couldn't believe the man she just married had said what he had said.
She replied wryly " Ok darling, but why not abstain completely 
and  till Easter make the floor your bed!"

An Unforbidden Love

Her husband was in slumberland in a sleep so deep
but she lay awake in bed on the white cotton sheet 
Her eyes affixed on the alluring beauty above
she knew in her heart it was not a forbidden love.

She had loved her ever since she was a young girl
it was not an unnatural love different from this world.
Her beauty had captivated  and seduced her every fortnight.
She felt her sallow skin caressed by her robes shining white.

This was a secret affair she always looked forward to.
She'd lay on her bed lifeless like a cold marble statue.
She'd focus and stare up at her for hours 
and this goddess in white would gaze at her from afar.

The moon goddess shines on her with incandescent vitality
she shifts to her right side...her eyelids shut gradually.
She knows she'll be back to brighten the melancholy, dark sky
This is a never ending love story, she need not say Good bye.

When God Appeared...

Time stood still, the earth shook and quavered
and then suddenly a man dressed in white in the sky appeared.
With sleight of hand he parted the earth and day turned to night,
but he was shining bright like the brightest of lights
People were awestricken, confused and petrified,
Is this an alien, is this God, they thought terrorised.

And then he spoke for all the world to hear,
people looked up at him with a revered fear.
" I created you all in my likeness and image 
but to each other you continue to cause perpetual damage.
You fight within yourselves, for religion, for land, for race,
and commit carnage, bloodshed, destruction in utmost disgrace.
Innocent lives are lost, infants die in their mothers wombs,
playgrounds overnight are converted into burial tombs.
I created the mountains, deserts, the seven seas in all it's beauty,
the universe with all resplendence and unspeakable artistry.
But seas have been reclaimed for concrete jungles to be built,
trees and nature is felled without any guilt.
I gave hearts to love, eyes to see and mouths to speak,
but people communicate less amongst themselves and more with technology.
Hearts are filled with more hatred, more jealousy, greed and lust,
but don't forget all this will end, you will turn to dust."

 " But God you gave us freewill."  someone from the crowd shouted
And he replied " Yes a mistake made by me, most ill-fated.
I gave you a mind of your own to think, make decisions,
not a mind of villainy to cast aspersions or derisions.
I gave you all a conscience to see the right from wrong,
but your conscience has lost consciousness, it's been numbed too long.
I gave Freewill to all of humanity 
but didn't expect the world to turn into a combat zone, sadly.
Nonetheless, this world will see it's end  finally one day,
and for all the sins you've committed, you will have to pay.
There will be a day where I will pass judgement.
Till then my people enjoy my creations, live in merriment."
And saying this darkness turned to light,
the earth stood still, no God in sight.

He awoke from his deep sleep, his dream so surrealistic
he felt God had appeared, it did seem realistic
He threw away the rifle, picked up the crucifix, placed it close to his heart,
he promised, no more wrongdoings, he'd make a fresh start. 

Surprise Surprise

She tossed and she turned, she couldn't sleep.
she was soaked in sweat due to the summer heat.
The air-condition on her didn't have any effect,
 her husband snored loudly, whilst he slept.

Suddenly she heard noises from the rooms below,
She thought t'was the cat scratching the kitchen door.
But after a while the noises did continue
it surely didn't sound like the old cat's mew.

She was afraid to get up alone from the bed,
but she mustered courage and put on her night robe of coppery red.
She took the baseball bat which was kept at the bed side,
and slowly tip toed down the stairs, hawk eyed.

She thought she heard the stairs creak when she was down below,
but  she felt it was her weighty tiptoeing on the wooden floor.
She heard creaks again and turned around,
but this time she didn't hear any creaking sound.

She slowly walked towards the kitchen, the door was ajar.
She prayed " God please help me, you've brought me this far."
She turned around, looked left and right,
but it was too dark to see anything without the  kitchen light.

The clock struck twelve, she heard the pendulum strike 
she was startled as someone wrapped their arms around her tight.
The lights were turned on and she looked with bated breath
her husband was behind her, his arms wrapped around her yet.

Friends and family all filled up the kitchen
and they all shouted out " Surprise, Surprise" in unison.
She then realized it was the 13th of May,
fear had wiped her memory clean about her fortieth birthday.

On the kitchen table stood a delicious red velvet cheesecake 
From " Cheescake Factory" the husband got it specially baked.
There were forty candles placed around  all brightly lit,
and  " Welcome to the forties, honey!" neatly writ.

The Happy birthday song was melodiously sung,
whilst she blew out the forty candles atop the cake one by one.
She cut the cake and said to her husband with a smile lovingly,
 " Thanks for the surprise darling.
But you surely scared the living daylights out of me!"

When Death Came Knocking

At an unearthly hour at night, 
he heard a loud knock on the door,
standing there was a ravishing lady dressed in black,
from head to her black nailed toe.
She looked him in the eye and said "My darling,I hope you're ready.
It's high time we leave ."
His face turned ashen and ghastly white, 
shoulders slumped in his night shirt sleeves.

He cried and begged "Oh, please please do let me stay!
I'm not ready yet, surely not today."
I've just become a new father a month ago,
I'd love to be part of my daughter's life,
 watch her take her first step, watch her grow.
I'd love to see her graduate, 
earn her first pay.
Fall in love, get married, 
be a grandfather, one day.
I want to grow old with my beloved wife, 
my childhood sweetheart.
We'd promised we'd never desert one another,
till death do us apart.
Please dear lady, please spare me,
 I'm only thirty four,
there's lots for me to do in this world,
time I need some more."

The lady in black sat herself down, 
from her pocket she pulled out a black book
she had targets to achieve night and day, 
from Mother Earth's every nook.
She stood up and said " I guess today's your lucky night, my friend
today your spared,
your life will not end.
In your place, I'll take the old man from the next house,
He's a ripe old ninety four,
but I'll be back for you fifty years from now my friend, 
knocking on this very same door!"

An Obsession gone wrong

She was dressed in a short black dress, sipping beer at Ole Vics bar,
he was seated by himself at a table not too far.
He noticed she was  beautiful but there was distance in her eyes,
she was a rapturous beauty indeed, but a Devil in Disguise.
Yes.... she was a  devil in disguise,
it hadn't dawned on him that she was "the devil in disguise"
and when she looked back at him, he was completely mesmerized.
She walked up to his table and sat down by his side
she sat so close to him that his left hand brushed her thigh.
She bent towards him and whispered in his ear,
he paid the bill hurriedly and they swiftly disappeared.
He took her to his apartment just a few blocks away
and they made sweet, passionate love through the night and all next day.
She knew she had enraptured him, , she was his master, he her slave,
she knew she had him trapped, she was his queen, he her knave.
She had now become his passion, his muse, his obsession,
she was now his fetish, an infatuating fascination.
Aware of his feelings, she deprived him of her,
she was not with him for a commitment, only fornication and carefree pleasure.
And so she played with his feelings, psyched his heart and his mind
To the world she resembled an angel, but she was the most evil of her kind.
She seduced other men in his presence, tortured him in every single way,
till finally he realized he couldn't take it anymore, he decided to end it all one day.
He ran up to his room pulled out the gun from the drawer in his wardrobe
he pointed it to his head and shot himself just above his earlobe.
The gun fell from his hand, he fell flat on the ground
he felt life leaving him with a hard hitting sound.
She was at the bar waiting for him impatiently,
he was always there before her but this time he wasn't, surprisingly.
She walked to his apartment and pushed open the front door,
she shrieked in fright when she saw him lying in blood on the cold stone floor.
She knelt down, held him tight and picked up his blood soaked gun,
she could understand why he had done what he had done.
She checked the bullets and pointed the gun at her heart,
he had become her obsession too, from him, she couldn't live apart.

Immortal Love

Two  lovers under the moon's luminous light.
on a hot summer April night
were seated on the seashore enjoying the sand and sea breeze,
arm in arm, knee over knee.

She gazed at him, he was dazed by her,
they had spent a large part of their lives together.
They had withstood all the tests of time,
but their love for each other was most sublime.

To be together, they had fought both kith and kin
separation would have left them dead from within.
And so they eloped and started their journey all alone,
just the two of them and a crucifix of red stone.

They married at the small chapel near the sea,
and started a restaurant together steadily.
They both slogged at their restaurant at the beach night and day
but always thanked God for everything he sent their way

God to them had also been very kind and bountiful
they were blessed with a beautiful home and twin boys infallible.
Love ruled both home, hearth and restaurant
they were happy and content with limited want.

The children grew into mature adults and left home to study,
they got respectable jobs and in time they did marry.
The lovers became grandparents to two boys and three girls,
they were married 52 years, happy in their fulfilled world.

But sadly this togetherness on earth did not last forever,
she was taken away suddenly due to a pneumonic fever.
He was grief stricken, he couldn't believe she was no more
He prayed to God to make haste and take him to death's door.

A week later on April 10, he passed away in his sleep
She was no longer around to make his heart leap.
Both are buried together near the seaside cemetery 
they've turned to dust, but their love still lives immortally 
And so these lovers still meet under a luminous moonlit night,
in their shimmering garbs of silver and white.

An Ill-fated Gift

He came home early from work, thought he'd give her a surprise.
But instead, he was in for a bigger one,he shockingly realized.
She was asleep in bed with another man, wrapped in a red satin sheet.
Through the bedroom door, he surreptitiously peeked.

He turned red and quietly walked away furiously.
He cried " oh Lord, God why did she do this to me!!
I've been faithful and a loving husband from our wedding day.
I've been her provider, her lover, her friend in every possible way!"

He walked filled with wrath to the study down below,
Opened a drawer picked up the pistol of SIG Pro.    * ( Swiss manufacturer of pistols)
He ran upstairs to the bedroom and stood quietly in front of the bed,
pointed the pistol at his sleeping wife and her lover and shot them both in the head.

The satin red sheets were now wet, covered with blood.
The blood flowing from the heads of lover and wife had caused a crimson flood.
He dragged down the bodies and wrapped them in the red satin sheet,
but the sheet was not long enough to cover their four feet.

He dumped the bodies in the ready made hole in the garden late into the night.
He had planned to make a little pond with ducks and other pretty sights.
This hole has finally come of use, he thought to himself smartly
a perfect burial place for his wife and her lover, he smiled nefariously.

He went back into the house and cleaned it spic and span
he didn't leave a trace of his wife or that of the other man.
He fell asleep on the sofa, due to excitement and exhaustion
he slept like a baby, comfortable in his blood and mud stained tainted skin.

Next morning, he awoke, bathed and went off to work,
He worked until late, there was no one to nag now, it was an added perk.
When he got home, he was surprised to see the neighbour from next door with his  docile lad.
He remember gifting the  boy a pair of binoculars that he had got from his dad.
At the side, there were two police officers waiting for him patiently,
They took him by the arm, handcuffed him and said " you're under arrest" grimly.

He was shell shocked and stood helplessly surprised, 
how could they've known so soon he had killed the wife's lover and his wife.
There couldn't have been a witness, there wasn't anyone around.
He had been extremely vigilant, burying them without a sound.

But the little boy from his room had seen the man pull tirelessly the bundled red satin sheet,
what amazed the little fella' most was the jutting out of two pairs of  different feet.
Everything looked so big and so clear through his pair of binoculars,
but though he was only ten, he knew it didn't seem right, nor blithe nor jocular.

He stared at the boy and the boy looked at him in dejection.
He said " I am sorry Mr. Harris I had to tell my dad, I couldn't keep it in."
"I never ever thought your gift would catch you at your own game.
I guess you should've given me a car instead." Mr. Harris hung his head in shame.

Unwanted

She walked down the cobblestone street
on a cold, winter's night
not a solitary soul to be seen 
not a stray animal in sight.

She left the baby near a garbage bin 
in a basket all covered in hay
she looked around to her left and right
and slyly walked away.

She desperately wanted this baby
but it was not hers to keep
it was born out of sin, out of wedlock
To face the pressures of society,
she was too powerless, too weak.

She wept uncontrollably,
big tears rolled down her distraught face.
She knew in her heart of hearts
to womanhood, to motherhood
she was a thorough disgrace.

She knew what it felt to be unwanted
she had experienced it nine months ago.
He had used her, abused her, loved her,
but treated her like an unpaid whore.

She turned to look at her baby
all wrapped in a basket in hay.
She ran and took her in her arms,
and said " you'll never feel unwanted,my darling daughter
it's a mother's promise, come what may!"

The Absurdities of The English Language

English is a funny language and exceptionally absurd,
It has its own absurdities,
when it comes to the written and  spoken word.

So the English alphabet consists of five vowels,
that's A, E, I, O, U
But it's also proved that "H" and "Y" are consonants 
and it seems vowels too.

So you use "An" before a word starting with a vowel,
but not always you see.
Cause' you put an "A" before " Unicorn" or "Useless"
and " An" before " Hour" or " Umbrella"
that's what completely baffles me!

But besides these baffling vowels,
some words are pronounced illogically 
where pronunciation of " S" and " F" take precedence,
though " Psychiatrist", " Psychology"  and " Physics",
start with a capital "P"!

The English language is expanding,
new words are added to dictionaries every year.
There's new additions " Gassed" slang for drunk,
and the notoriously famous " Sexting" and " F-Bomb"
added to Mirriam Webster.

But frankly I feel, with words like these,
The Queen's English is going down the drain.
I'm sure the literary greats must be turning in their graves,
poor Shakespeare, Dickens, Oscar Wilde and Mark Twain.

A Scary Silent Night

T'was the night before Christmas,
she walked on the wet street all alone.
Suddenly she heard footsteps,
following her trail home.
She was too afraid to turn
or give a trajectory look.
She knew the street well,
every corner, every nook.

She knew she was foolish
to be out so late at night.
But t'was the night before Christmas,
it surely seemed right.

She asked God for help
to save her from this lout
who'd followed her continuously 
he knew her every route.

She felt enough was enough
she couldn't take the suspense any more,
she was ready to face the consequences,
ready for this brute, this boor.

But when she turned around,
to her good fortune, she did see
a young man carrying her shopping bags
waving at her frantically.

He walked up to her panting
saying " you left this at the mall,
I've been shouting out to you,
but with the iPod earphones,
you didn't hear me call."

But she had had heard footsteps 
following her down the street.
She then realised it wasn't the footsteps,
but the music of Michael Jackson with a mix of her heartbeat.

She took her bags and thanked him profusely
with her ever most gracious smile.
T'is one Christmas eve she won't forget,
surely, for a long, long while.

A Funny Wedding Night

The wedding reception had ended
the last guest was about to leave
the bridal couple looked happy and content,
they heaved a sigh of relief.

They were looking forward to the wedding night,
their first as husband and wife.
So they drove away to their new home,
to begin their newly married life.

He carried her in his arms 
and slowly opened the front door.
He suddenly shrieked in fright, dropping the puzzled bride, 
"THUD",on the hard white marble floor.

The house was filled with friends and family
and relatives from God knows where.
There was no place for the bridal couple!
To seat them, not a solitary chair.

The friends and family cheered and clapped 
and yelled aloud " Surprise!!"
The groom smiled and glanced helplessly
at his beautiful wife, by his side.

Finally at 11 PM,the friends and family bid their final good byes,
but suddenly there were sounds of sobbing
T'was the groom's mother,not the mother of the bride,
incessantly, wailing and weeping.

One by one, friends and family left
and the house was finally empty.
He carried her in his strong arms once again,
into the candle lit bedroom hurriedly.

But to his dismay, as luck would have it
there were roses on the bed strewn,
and the bedroom floor was filled
with yellow, red and white,
giant heart shaped balloons.

He put her down and said sadly 
"What if there's a thorn or two amongst this bed of  flowers!
The neighbours will wonder why we're yelling.
At such a God forsaken, unearthly hour,
it'll seem a bit embarrassing!"

So together,husband and wife collected the balloons and petals,
and swept the house completely 
The wedding night had ended,but the " Marriage"  had begun
he looked up at his wife, knowing he had made the right choice
and smiled at her happily.

An " Ice Breaking" April Fool's day

She had been married to him for two months,
but they slept on separate beds.
It was a typical  "Arranged Marriage". 
They  met just a week, before they were finally wed.

There was a certain awkwardness between them. 
To each other, they were strangers still.
But they kept up the husband-wife charade for the world to see,
knowing that deep down,they were married against their will.

Finally, she decided that she could take this silence, 
this indifference no more.
She waited for him patiently to get back from work, 
to walk through the old carved, bedroom door.

She watched as he entered,
put his briefcase on the bed and took off his tie.
He  took off his shoes and socks,
then sat himself on the rocking chair, nearby.

She walked slowly up to him and with a straight face said
" I've got something to tell you,I hope you'll be happy to hear,
I'm pregnant and we'll be parents, 
by the end of this year."

He stared at her, his face turning a ripe tomato red.
He shouted " How can that be possible,
when we've not consummated our marriage,
We've been sleeping on two separate beds!!"

She slyly looked up at him and said" It's the first of April, April fool's day,
I only wished to play a prank on you and make you laugh away."

His frown disappeared from his face 
and his mouth curled into a smile.
He took her in his arms and lovingly said " I knew that my darling wife.
I wasn't angry, I thought I'd made a fool out of you too, 
only for a short while!"

From the mouth of kids....

Kids say the darnedest things
and funny things too.
They'll ask why dogs walk on four legs
and why they've to walk on two.

They'll look at a woman's bosom
and innocently shout out,
"why she's got big balls!"
Then they'll lift their tee up,
puzzled, that they're chest is flat 
and very, very small.

They'll wonder why  players in a football match,
are fighting and the ball they aren't sharing.
Cause' thats what mommy has taught them
to " share your toys", be kind, loving and caring.

They'll call adults"children"
and call children " babies" at times,
and if they've done something naughty,
they'll say " Sorry Mama, please don't shout!"
with the sweetest of sweetest smiles.

If you ask them " are you okay,
Or are you feeling fine!"
They'll reply candidly
" I think after chocolate milk or a bar of chocolate,
I'll feel better in a while!"

Children continue to amaze me
with their innocent, incorrupt minds.
They'll ask you so many questions,
with their what's this and why's!!

Now thankfully we've got Google
it can answer any question in the world.
But there's two questions
most parents dread, I've read...
" How babies are born? And
" what's the difference between 
a boy and a girl?"

An eventful " Good Friday"

Today is Good Friday
a day where Christians fast and pray.
But I spent my morning this Good Friday,
doing a "good service" to my son,
if I may proudly say!

We parents have to prepare an Easter hat
for the Egg hunt and Mad hatter's tea party on  Easter Sunday.
The hat had to be colourful and fanciful,
unique in every way.

So I cut up a black chart paper
and made a black hat.
But realized later than sooner,
black is not colourful,
as a matter of fact.

Then I cut up some yellow, blue and orange paper
and made eggs of different sizes and shapes
Some were small like that of hens
and some slim and long,like that of snakes.

Then I glued them on the hat,
it looked " Colourful" indeed.
In school, I found art and craft not my cup of tea,
but, with this paper hat,
I was mighty pleased.

I cut up some more paper
and made a little flag.
It read " Happy Easter DLSM*.     ( De La Salle Montessori - toddler's school) 
I'm sure the teachers would be mighty glad.

So the toddler is ready for Easter Sunday,
But my Good Friday won't be complete,
without the solemn church mass.
Thanking the Saviour, Lord Jesus,
who died for our sins,
undoubtedly, the greatest ever...
indefatigable, sacrificial task.

A " Seasonal" Office Romance

It was March 1st, the beginning of spring,
her first day at work.
She timidly walked in through the door
dressed smartly in a crisp white shirt and black skirt
A fresh post graduate, not over twenty four.

He looked erudite with his spectacles
He was 27, a strapping young man,
knowledgeable and experienced,
He was the organisation's right hand.

It was love at first sight for him,
the instance on her he laid his eyes.
He hoped she didn't notice,
his loving gaze, she didn't realise.

Her eyes met his,his eyes met hers.
He had evaded love for so long.
" Oh no, it can't happen " he thought,
"  I can hear violins playing a sonnet,
a beautiful love song!" 

But as luck would have it,
Cupid had in this story a pivotal part to play.
She was seated at a desk opposite him,
just a meter away.

Thus their story began,
though spring ended in a doleful way.
Their eyes would do the talking,
but their mouths had nothing to say.

He would look up from his computer
and give her a sly smile.
She'd smile back coyly,
and pretend she was busy,
going through the accounts file.

Then one bright summer morning he mustered the courage,
walked up to her and asked her out on a date.
He said " Let's have a cup of coffee after work
Don't worry, I won't keep you out late."

They went out for a cup of coffee at 7,
to the cafe a few blocks away.
The evening was filled with coffees  and conversations,
realization hadn't dawned on them....
it was the start to a brand new day.

And these meetings happened often
at cafes,  at the theatre, at the park near the sea
till they realised they were deeply in love
and together forever, they were meant to be.

One fine day, he proposed, she accepted,
and they got married on the last Sunday in December.
Whoever thought that, that an office romance that started in spring,
would  end in an official Marriage,
in  winter.

A Wedding Day

She was waiting in the Mercedes
all dressed in diamonds, shimmering white
waiting to walk down the aisle with her father,
waiting to be a newly wedded wife.

She climbed up the church steps,
the veil covering her coy face.
As soon as she heard the tune
" Here comes the bride."
she smiled, t'was shone through the lace.

She walked arm in arm with her father
as he led her through the aisle.
She smiled and nodded at people as she passed
her face had a sparkle, 
like that of a new born child.

She saw the priest at the altar
and he standing by his side.
She thought " In just a few moments,
I'll be his newly wedded bride!"

Then all of  a sudden she fell flat,
on the cold hard checkered floor.
Her shoe had got caught in the trail behind.
Oh no what a way to go.

He left the priest and ran to her side
and helped her back on her feet.
He joked " You'd fall head over heels in love with me. 
You proved it today, my sweet."

He walked her to the altar
His face was still aglow.
He had the love of his life by his side,
he couldn't ask God for more.

They both exchanged wedding vows
and also wedding rings.
He lifted her veil and kissed her cheek,
t'was the beginning of a new beginning.

They were now man and wife,
for all the world to see.
To love and to hold and have each other,
forever till eternity.

The wedding mass then ended,
and everyone clapped and rejoiced,
to celebrate the union of two hearts,
of the newly wedded husband and wife.

Weighty Misunderstanding...

He was seated in the train 
voraciously reading the morning news
when at the next station
 a woman boarded the train,
her tummy was huge!

The lady stood quietly
holding the railing near the door.
He stared at her feeling
pity and remorse.

He thought " this poor lady's expecting,
how can she manage such weight.
It's sad no one wants to give up their seat,
sharing in a train, is not a common trait!"

So he folded his newspaper 
put it neatly in his briefcase
and walked upto her
with a smile on his face.

He politely said " Since you're expecting
you may take my seat."
He felt proud and happy 
he had done his good deed for the week.

She gave him a cold hard stare
and said "Sir, I'm not expecting
but thank you for your chivalry.
You see God with weight 
has been overly generous with me!"

The man was embarrassed
he didn't know where to look
He went back to his seat
and from his briefcase, pulled out a book.

But to his dismay
he had pulled out " From Pig to twig-
 Neris and India's Idiot proof diet"By India Knight.
And so he made matters worse
instead of setting it right.

He gave her an awkward smile
and looked uneasily away.
Mentally, he took an oath
He'd never ever offer a seat
to any oversize woman 
starting from that day!

A Funny Proposal...

T'was a summer evening
he took her to the park near the sea
and politely asked her to sit on the bench,
under the shade of an old oak tree.

He lovingly took her hand in his
and asked her to close her eyes.
She obediently listened to him,
knowing in her heart,
awaiting her was a huge surprise.

Now, high above on the old oak tree,
lived a murder of gluttonous crows
And after stuffing themselves with a heavy meal,
nature called out to them, the same time he decided to propose.

Then the unexpected happened
and  on her hand she felt something sticky and white
this wasn't the surprise she had dreamt of 
and longingly had in sight.

She was livid that he could do something so repugnant
and so her five fingers on his cheek went  smack,
She felt such an indignity and such behaviour 
needed a hard resounding slap.

He was taken aback by her misdemeanor
and said " But I've not yet on your finger put the ring,
Whoever thought that the excrement of crows
would not be a sign of good luck, but a five finger sting!"

"And how can you ever think
that I'd propose in such an icky way.
As luck would have it unfortunately,
the crows had to have " the runs"
on my proposal day."

And so once again he cajoled her
and on her finger slipped the solitaire made of gold
He asked her " will you marry me,
and together with me will you grow old?"

She said " Yes my darling, I'll marry you
and love you till eternity.
But promise me one thing, my dear.
If you ever plan to surprise me again,
never under this old oak tree!"

Sad truth about women...

I'm staring at the mirror
I can see strands of grey
I've realized time has passed fast
I've come a long way.

I'm no longer a young lass
new to this world
a little child no more
I'm no longer daddy's girl.

I'm a daughter, a sister,
an in-law, a mother and wife,
but I'm a woman first,
in this present God given life.

I'm thankful to the people around me
I'm thankful they've treated me well
But then I ponder on women who are not,
into their miseries, I delve.

Some are raped and beaten
some burnt and abused
some are made to starve
and hit with their husband's shoes.

Some are treated unequally 
in this male dominated world
Some are aborted in the womb
when the mother learns sadly,
it's not a boy,but an ordinary girl.

It's disheartening that even in this modern day,
women are treated shoddily still
Where man's ego comes in the way,
and makes a woman stay home,
even though it's against her will.

We may have the highest of college degrees
But our mindset hasn't changed
We may have done a Phd in Anthropology
but our attitude towards women,
still remains the same.

We have special days for women,
celebrated internationally with pomp and grandeur.
But why!! why!! can't they be treated with love and respect
every single day of the year.

If the world was a parking lot...

I'm sipping tea looking out of the 8th floor window,
I can see a group of boys playing football in the parking lot, down below.
Dressed in sports shoes and shorts 
and red, blue and yellow tees,
they're from different countries, different nationalities.
They're carefree, not worried about race, colour or religion,
a football has bound them and brought about this unification.

Imagine, if the world was a gigantic parking lot where people played football,
there wouldn't be any global issues, no fights, no wars at all.
Everyone would run after the football,to score a winning goal
from Eskimos to Africans, from north to south pole.

Red or yellow cards would be given if rules were not followed or disobeyed,
penalty kicks would be the bonus, 
if issues were solved in a day.
There'd be no barriers, no walls, no boundaries,
just football teams or clubs, 
with names of different countries.

Imagine if the world was a parking lot and people played football all day,
dribbling, kicking and head butting a ball
where each one got a fixed stipend or pay.
There'd be no poverty, no hunger, no inequality,
no discrimination of gender or race.
Everyone would help each other,
the world would be one happy, peaceful, perfect place.

Taxes and the Aam Aadmi....

Rising prices and taxes is a never ending common man's woe,
how will he survive with a stagnant income,
if the " FM" new duties and taxes impose.

He pays entertainment tax to watch a movie
and road tax to "moon walk" on pot holed roads.
He pays service tax of 12% at an a/c restaurant,
if he wishes to reduce his wife's cooking load.

He pays tax for public transport
and airport and fuel tax to travel by air.
He even pays an additional tax,
if at a fancy salon, he snips his hair.

He has to pay more for LPG
if he relishes home cooked food.
And if he wishes to whisper sweet nothings to his wife from anywhere,
he'd have to pay 6% duty on mobiles too.

He'd have to pay additional duty on set top boxes,
if he wishes to watch Saas Bahu serials in the comfort of his home.
Or he could take a long drive with his wife,
but with sky rocketing petrol prices,
it's a luxury to even roam.

The poor fellow can't even drown his sorrow in liquor
as that is heavily taxed too.
And when his end is finally near,
the doctor will say " you've got no sickness,
it's the taxes that got the better of you!!"

Childhood Days...

I often walk down memory lane
reminiscing childhood days of mine
where life was uncomplicated and so plain,
sweeter than the sweetest of wine.

We were overflowing with innocence then,
unknown to worldly pressures
Life was  a playground filled with friends,
raptured by the simplest of pleasures.

We'd play and play untiringly
till the sun would set on us,
chor police, hide and seek, atti patti,
indefatigably without a fuss.

We'd play " Dabba gul" or  seven tiles,
Barbie, he-man, Gi-Joes were our playmates.
We'd cycle with friends for miles and miles
and swing like orangutans merrily on our building gates.

We'd pick tamarind fallen fresh from trees
they formed an important part of our food chain.
We'd live on sugar cane and iced pepsis,
bought from the quaint shop down the lane.

We'd spin tops on the craggy ground,
and play with marbles too.
with our fingers we'd strike them down
coloured in green, white  or royal blue.

Sadly those days did pass
and our childhood did slowly fade.
youth unveiled it's adolescent mask,
and adulthood it's way did pave.

But do not dwell on childhood, repining,
as joyful days come unexpectedly
The present has brought glad tidings
so live, laugh and love happily.

Marriage Proposals...Horrorscopes and Kundlis...

A movie I watched yesterday brought back amusing memories of a  marriage proposal,
of an eligible bachelor I met,
through " rcmatrimonials.com" a  marriage web portal.
He was a perfect match, 
as like me, he too was a " Mixed Breed"
tall, dark and handsome,
 in every sense indeed.

We both liked each other and communicated
technology was our mediator as he was in a city faraway,
till the mother decided to meet me, the eligible bachelorette, 
on a bright,  cheery Sunday.

Now we of the Catholic faith don't believe in matching horoscopes or so called " Kundlis",
but this lady was adamant on knowing my birthdate, 
and the time I was born 
which was 9.30 am approximately.

Days passed and this " mamas boy" suddenly stopped communicating,
I wondered why and then it dawned on me,
it had to do with my birth timing.
Whoever thought that the time you're born could determine your marital destiny,
it's such a nonsensical, absurd concept followed in India, seriously!!!

How can you in a minute decide,
that the person you want to spend with,
for the rest of your life,
has to have a matching horoscope, 
just to be a " sati savitri" and " propah" wife!!!

It's not over yet as this marriage proposal madness still continues,
where a 40 year old man would prefer an alliance with a woman aged 32,
He may be bald and grey with an oversized paunch,
but she has to be " young",  slim with  long black hair,
in his requirements, he is steadfastly and firmly staunch.

And those spineless jelly fish, who are the so called " mama's boys"
indecisive on a life partner they want,
so their ever willing mama's help they happily employ.
But if the mother dislikes the girl,
oh... then how can the boy, his mother's decision defy,
after all she has painstakingly  carried him in her womb for 9 months,
in her own emotional blackmailing way,
she'll cunningly justify.

But all this can change if those mama's laadlas loosen their hold on their mother's saris,
move ahead with changing times and change their fixated ideologies.
And we wouldn't need to depend on horrific horoscopes and potbellied panditji's Kundlis,
we could choose the life partner we want and live as " Mia biwi" happily!!

Troublesome Toddler.....

Many a times, I want to smack and whack my toddler,
at this age, he can be a rather mischievous and cantankerous child.
he behaves like a spoilt rotten apple, 
such incorrigible behaviour is unacceptable
and makes me go wild.

He doesn't allow me to get him ready for school or  brush his mop of hair,
his toys are strewn in the bath tubs, in the bed rooms...on the kitchen floor,
almost everywhere.

Whenever we go shopping he cries for a new set of wheels,
he doesn't realise that money has to be earned
and doesn't grow on trees.
He runs on roads and makes me do an Usain Bolt too,
no wonder I've given up heels
and resorted to sports shoes.
He'll want to watch his " Shaun the sheep" 
whenever  I want to watch a movie or my saas Bahu soap,
and if I don't permit it...
he'll sit in a corner, all grumpy and mope.

But when it comes to smacking him, I'm unable to do so,
cause' I think of the good in him, 
which thankfully he has more.
He is an extremely loving, caring child and very friendly too
yes, he's a naughty lil imp
but I didn't give birth to a Miss goody two shoes.
And then this does make me think as to why my husband calls me insane,
He says how can you want another child when bringing up one fella,
leaves you all tired and drained!!

The B word - BURPS!!

" Burpppp! Burpppp! Burpppp! "went the man at the cafe sitting beside me,
I turned my head and smiled at him wryly.
I thought to myself how could he be so loud,
if he burped any louder, he'd surely attract disdain looks from the cafe crowd.

But then I remembered this dialogue from my favorite movie " Shrek",
the big fat green ogre with the shortened neck.
He had said" Better out than in, I say"
and then I realized that if you've got to burp,
You've got to burp from your mouth,
there surely isn't any other way!!

Burping is also known as belching, ructus or eructation,
caused by release of gases from the oesophagus and stomach section.
It could be due to excessive eating or drinking of beer or carbonated waters,
but giving out a burp is the biggest satisfaction, it really doesn't matter.
You could suppress your burp like a giggle or belch like a frog's croak,
don't worry, everyone burps or belches,
Obama, Queen Elizabeth, prince Charles and even the Pope.

Burping aloud is deemed socially inappropriate 
and we normally say "excuse me" or" sorry" whenever we do.
But how do you teach a new born baby,
who burps at the break of dawn or even in the afternoon at two.
It's difficult to control this gaseous expulsion from our mouth,
it may be odourless or taste like rotten eggs or tomatoes ,
check your burps.... if you do have a doubt.

But someone had said to me once" if you burp, it  means you've enjoyed the food",
so go ahead people, burp away...
cause' burping or belching surely feels good!!  

The F word - FART...

We've taught the toddler to say " Sorry!" whenever he farts
since he makes pretty loud farts and " aromatic"ones too.
So this made me want to pen down my quirky thoughts on a fart,
and give my comic point of view.

A fart is a part of flatulence,
often caused by excessive over indulgence.
It can be loud, it can be silent,
it can be odourless or highly feculent.

A fart is the colloquial meaning for the Latin word Flatus,
which could also mean "passing gas" or " breaking wind" ,
but remember if you do " pass gas "in public,
ensure to keep it low and below din.

There's no fixed time or fixed place for a fart,
you can fart anywhere, when you're atop the Eiffel tower,
or anytime, watching the sunset with your childhood sweetheart.

A fart could be a whistle,
it could even be a medley or a song,
it could sound like a Harley Davidson or an impatient car horn.

But do not be afraid of this Flatus or this gaseous fart,
yes, it could be embarrassing.....
but it's just nature, playing some music,
through our rounded" bottom" part.

Happy Birthday Bro...

So today the sibling turns a ripe old twenty nine,
One of my fave guys, this brother of mine.
I vividly remember the day that he was born,
on a bright, sunny Thursday morn.
The cutest little baby I had ever seen,
it was one of the happiest days of my life, indeed.

" Sometimes being a brother is even better than being a super hero", it's said,
and yes... that saying does hold true in every stead.
You've  fought with him, you've laughed and talked with him and even beaten him black or blue.
Cause' a brother will always be a part of your childhood which you'll never ever lose.
But no matter how old we grow or how far we may be apart,
this lil, baby bro of mine will always have a special place in my heart.

Happy Birthday Brothster!!! 

A bit of Childhood vs Adulthood....

I walked down memory lane yesterday,
thanks to an old dear friend.
She brought back nostalgia of childhood days,
sadly, which did come to an end.

When we were young, studying was our main responsibility,
but as we grew older with time,
besides job and house to find.
There's bills to pay, 
rent, EMIs, paper and electricity.

Earlier as children, examinations were our only tension,
but now there's getting to work on time, 
driving through traffic jams,
appraisals and fretting as to why we've not got a good bonus or promotion.

We'd wake up late on holidays and never have to worry,
about what's there for breakfast 
or who's going to prepare morning tea.
But now, we wake up at sunrise, be it on any day,
make breakfast, tea and pack lunch
wake up the kid, bathe and dress him,
and ensure that he's off to school, anyway.

Food would be placed on our dining table
and we'd eat with or without a fuss,
but now we have to browse through various recipes,
plan the weekly menu or with the husband or child discuss.

We'd get our clothes, toys and monthly/ weekly pocket money,
we had no financial pressures.
But now as adults, we need to budget, account, plan
our household incomes and expenditures.

Yes....Time flies and into adults, we all grow
we are little children no more.
We have our own goals to achieve, own battles to fight,
we all have new worries, new plights.
I do love this new "grown up" world of mine,
but sometimes I wish I could rewind back and be a child,
where I could just be young ( not that I'm old ;) and free,
but then if I could.....
I wouldn't be able to look back with a smile,
at these nostalgic memories.

Imagine If Breakfast could be Brownies.....

Finally the new year is here and I need to stop the over indulgence, this dissipation,
fight the battle of the bulge which is an every year resolution.
But dieting seems to be such a daunting task,
cause' I need to munch on snacks
while watching serials of 'bahu and saas'
or watch movies, chomping on chocolates like Galaxys and Toblerones,
which I lose count of, 
like an imbecile moron.

I blame God for this superfluous disparity,
by making the " good things in life" 
overtly unhealthy!

And then I let my imagination take over me,
if I could start the first meal of the day....breakfast with
a scoop of vanilla ice cream atop a hot Sizzling Brownie.
Lunch would be hearty with simple pancakes,
spread with Nutella or drenched in Maple syrup,
and maybe we'd go healthy,
add some whipped cream and strawberries to top it up.
Tea time would consist of chocolate muffins or red velvet cheesecakes,
maybe a cup of cappuccino and some chocolate chip cookies freshly baked.
Dinner would be light, so I'd stick to an assortment of gelatos or ice creams,
I wish all of the above would be a reality and not just a dream.

Aaaah....if I could eat just desserts morning, noon and night,
and never put on an ounce of weight,
I'd be the happiest person on earth,
sugar would give me an all time high,
I'd always walk with a sprightly gait.