Dirrrrty picturrrrre

"Ooh Laa laa ooh laa laa
Ooh Laa laa ooh laa laa
Tu hai meri fantasy
Choo Naanaa choo Naanaa
Choo Naanaa choo Naanaa
Ab main jawan ho gayi"
This song is kinda groovy and growing on me.

Its from the movie 'The Dirty Picture'
Where Vidya looks like a juicy piece of meat for Naseerudin, the hungry vulture.
It's an upcoming biopic of sensual 80s screen siren, Silk Smitha,
Enacted by Vidya Balan beautifully with great chutzpah.
All the jhataks and mataks and oohs and aahs,
It's something different from her earlier "Parineeta" and "Paa".

Then there's the acting badshah, Naseerudin Shah, with his hair dyed jet black,
Followed by Tusharr Kapoor, where a talent like acting lacks.
And how can we forget our very own serial Kisser Emraan Hashmi,
Whose lips always say " come on baby kiss me, kiss me".

The music composers are Vishal- Shekhar, not Bappi da,
Who lent his voice to "Ooh laalaa".
The songs are fun ,frothy and spicy,
Very retro and evocative eighties.

'The Dirty Picture' made by Balaji and Milan Luthria,
Will surely bring back some southern trivia.

Till then wait and watch for this year's most anticipated musical drama,
Whereas I go back to hubby and sing to him "Ooh laalaa Ooh laalaa"

Hassles of Housework

"Oh no I've overslept" I look at my alarm clock with a start,
Now I'll have to hurry with my morning bath.

Coz' there's loads of housework I've got to do,
from making up beds to scrubbing the bathtub too.

There's the dishes in the sink I've got to wash,
And a big pile of laundry, oh my gosh,

I've still to vacuum and mop the floor,
The dusting is still left and polishing of the front door.

Oh I've still not decided for dinner, what am I going to cook!
I guess I'll have to refer to my favourite recipe book.

Should I cook up a rice and Stroganoff in a hurry
Or just stick to a simple Mangalorean chicken curry.

Oh Why doesn't this housework seem to end!

it drives me up the foyer and round the bend.

Sometimes I wish I was the "Sleeping" and not "Sweeping Beauty",
Without any chores and household duties.

Housework doesn't pay the salary at the bank I earned,
But there's something about housework, in time I've learnt.

If you think of Housework positively ,
it sure does seem fun,

When you do it lovingly for your family and loved ones.

Supermarkets or Kiranawalas

All Newspapers and media channels are talking about FDI in retail,

But what does it mean to us and what does it entail.

It's a decision taken by the Government to allow foreign investment directly in the retail sector,

As a price lowering measure and a mass job creator.

It will lead to an increase in agricultural productivity

And also in the country, bring in new technology.

So let's pave the way for USA's Walmart and UK's Tesco,

And the French global chains like Geant and Carrefour.

But what about our kiranawalas and the general store

or even our neighbourhood's little shop next door,

In such a scenario where would they go.

Yes, we'll enjoy discounts and enjoy surplus and variety,

But will they deliver a kilo onions like our kiranawalas in a jiffy.

Or will they lay down rules like our supermarkets and hyper cities,

"Purchases above 2000 Rs. only Free home delivery".

However, since we " Consumers are considered kings",

Let's enjoy the best of both worlds and see what they bring.

But from a larger perspective, will farmers really benefit?

Will FDI in retail reduce inflation?

I guess we'll have to wait and watch and hope the government makes the right decision.

Cocktails and their weirrrrrrd names

In today's day and age whether its a boys night out, ladies night, bachelors or bachelorette party, cocktails form a very important part of it.
But what are Cocktails exactly?
Cocktails are booze (such as gin, vodka, whiskey, tequila, or rum) mixed with things that are either more booze or are not booze at all(liqueur, juice, fruit, sauce, honey, milk or cream, spices, or other flavourings).
Behind this deceptively simple definition lies a world of fun and danger. Funger.
Well that's the informative part, but there is a funny part to this article too and that's the weird names of some Cocktails.
 I remember going to a restaurant and this naïve young girl with her gal pals asked the waiter to suggest something "alcoholic" to drink and he with his funny twang suggested "Sex on the Beach", this girl was so offended that she nearly slapped the waiter and told him " I'm not that kind of girl to sleep around and I've saved myself for my husband." The poor guy was shocked, he picked up the menu and pointed out to the Cocktails section.
The girl saw "Sex on the beach" written in bold. She sheepishly sat down, apologised and ordered it without uttering another word.
Don't blame her, imagine a Cocktail with such a taboo name. However one of the most popular cocktails, a Sex on the Beach is a delicious fruity drink that almost anyone will like. It's a great tropical highball that is wonderful on hot summer nights or afternoons at the beach.
Here's the recipe:
INGREDIENTS 3 Parts ABSOLUT VODKA 8 Parts Cranberry Juice 4 Parts Orange Juice 2 Parts Peach Liqueur
 HOW TO MIX THIS COCKTAIL Fill a shaker with ice cubes. Add all ingredients. Shake and strain into a chilled highball glass filled with ice cubes.

That's just one, there are a lot more.
There are some named after animals too. From our four legged friend the Chihuahua which is a breed of dog to spiders,horses ,tigers and even dragons.


Read on to find out. Recipes also given, thanks to cocktail.com.
Enjoy, have fun and cheers.

Salty Chihuahua
1 shot tequila grapefruit juice 1 dash salt Pour tequila over ice in a cocktail glass. Fill with grapefruit juice and add a dash of salt.

Rooster Tail
1 shot Jose Cuervo® Especial gold tequila 1 shot orange juice 1 shot tomato juice 1 dash salt Lick hand, add salt, and lick salt. Consume quickly as shots, in order; Jose Cuervo, orange juice, and tomato juice.

Barking Spider
1 1/2 oz Tarantula Azul Tequila 1 1/2 oz Blue Curacao liqueur 3/4 oz Bacardi® 151 rum 1 dash triple sec 1 dash sweet and sour mix 1 splash orange juice Serve over ice in a collins glass, or blend for a frozen version of this drink.

Trojan Horse
1/2 pint Guinness® stout 1/2 pint Coca-Cola®
Mix coke and Guinness in a pint glass.

Pink Squirrel
1 oz creme de noyaux 1 tbsp white creme de cacao 1 tbsp light cream Shake all ingredients with ice, strain into a cocktail glass, and serve

Tiger Paw
2 oz citrus vodka 2 oz lemon juice
1 tbsp sugar ice fill with orange soda Add vodka, lemon juice, ice, and sugar in a mixing glass and shake. Pour into a cup and add orange soda. Stir.

Flaming Giraffe
2 oz Kahlua® coffee liqueur 1 oz butterscotch schnapps 1 oz 151 proof rum Pour kahlua first into a double shot glass. Add one ounce of butterscotch schnapps. Float 151 proof rum on top and set on fire. Blow out before drinking.

Love Birds
 1 1/2 oz vodka 2 oz sweet and sour mix 1 dash dark rum 1/2 oz grenadine syrup Pour the vodka, sour mix, dark rum and grenadine into an old-fashioned glass filled with crushed or shaven ice. Garnish with a maraschino cherry, and serve.

Funky Monkey
1 oz Mount Gay® Barbados rum 1 oz creme de bananes 5/8 oz dark creme de cacao 3 oz coconut milk 1 banana coconut flakes Blend with ice until smooth. Pour into a hurricane glass and garnish with coconut flakes.

Red Dragon's Breath
1 shot DeKuyper® Hot Damn cinnamon schnapps 1 shot whiskey Mix in a shot glass, and serve.

Desi Boyzzzzz aur Recession ka combination

First we had Tarun Mansukhani's 'Dostana' showing the bonding of boys,

And now there's David Dhawan's son Rohit's 'Desi Boyz'

But this story is of two guys Nick and Jerry in Britain,

taking on the dreaded global villain recession.

Due to the economic downturn they end up jobless,

Leaving both guys penniless and helpless.

That's when they turn to the oldest profession of male escorts,

Fulfilling costume fantasies of girls and lady despots.

Though all this seems very filmy,

I'm sure it does happen in reality,

As recession has taken over the whole wide world,

leaving people in a tizzy and twirl.

Where a person goes to work happily one day,

suddenly he is told to leave and collect his 3 months pay.

Before he walks out of his office door

He'll suddenly realise there'll be no income
anymore.

How will he fund his lifestyle and home loan

And mounting bills of food, electricity and phone?

In 2008, people in the US were the first to face such a situation

But in the age of globalisation, no country can live in isolation from such world economic fluctuations.

It has spread to Greece, Portugal, Ireland, UK and Spain,

Oh God, recession is surely a pain.

It has also spread to India you see,

With a falling share market and a depreciating Rupee.

People losing jobs and resorting to crime,

When you think of it, being male gigolos isn't such a bad way to pass time.

Desi Boyz has brought out this situation in a light blithe way,

How recession has hit us no matter how educated or how high our pay.

Kolaveri and Krikettttt

What is this Kolaveri Kolaveri di?
Is this a song or a Tamil poetry,
People are humming it everywhere I go,
And on their Facebook and twitter pages show.
Kolaveri in tamil means murderous rage or intent,
But this song is funny and does make sense.
The lyrics portray feelings of a heartbroken Indian boy,
A sad love story where the girl played with his heart like a toy.
Similar to the story of our India- West Indies Test,
Where cricket lovers were glued to TV screens for hours without rest.
Others at the stadium sitting at the edge of their seats,
Where Ashwin broke our hearts in two and stopped our heartbeats.
He hit the ball to long on, but didn't take the second run, if only he had done so, surely we would have won.
It was an anti-climatic end to a dramatic day of cricket, but we can't blame Ashwin alone, what about the other 7 wickets.
That's when I hum"Why this Kolaveri di?",
It fits this situation so very aptly.
Thanks to Dhanush for this Rustic "Tanglish" song,
Whenever you're watching such a cricket match don't forget to hum " Kolaveri di " along.

The woes of fat ole' me

Christmas is round the corner and I'm still as fat as can be,
I look like a well rounded snowman standing against a thin fir tree.
I thought I had lost some weight with all the chores and exercise,
But seems the weighing scales everywhere I go seem to tell me lies.
I have to fit into the Versace black dress, I saw at the shopping mall,
But if I try it now, I'll look like a well fed hippopotamus, really very tall.
Sometimes I stare at my wedding picture and heave a deep sad sigh,
Is that me the good looking chick, standing near that handsome guy.
Now I understand my toddler's puzzled look when he stares at that picture too,
He's actually wondering "Is that dad with someone else?" or "Is that really you?".
I've decided to zip my mouth and finally hit the gym,
I've got to loose the extra weight to look svelte and slim.
But Christmas is round the corner along with the goodies too,
How can I resist such scrumptious treats, Oh God what do I do?
"Don't worry" I smile to myself, "Christmas is a festive occasion"
" Few days more then its new year, why don't I make losing weight my NEW YEAR RESOLUTION". ;)

Something to laugh about

Since Sardars are a hot topic of late,another Sardar who came to my mind was Mr. Khushwant Singh - the funny Sardar, so put up some of his funny jokes to tickle your funny bone.


I am the youngest in the family. My brothers are called Rahmat Elahi (by God's kindness), Barkat Elahi (by God's grace) and Mahbub Elahi (beloved of God). As for me, I am Bas Kar Elahi (God that is enough).

Indian VIPs have recently been warned to take certain precautionary steps to avoid being blown up by terrorists. They have trouble following most of the points suggested.

1.don't go to the same hotel or restaurant too often.
2.don't walk in the same park at the same time every day.
3.don't take the same car to work every day.
4.don't sleep with the same person in the same place every night.

Krishnan Menon, a lifelong bachelor, was once invited by a family with three kids to join them for a film, as they had got an extra ticket. Sure, that was fine with him and they headed off to the nearest bus stop. The first bus stopped, but there were only three places on board. The second had only four, the third one, and so on. They didn't want to be late so they began walking to the cinema. Menon's walking stick kept going tap tap tap on the ground and the father reprimanded him for it: "Why not put some rubber at the end of your stick so we can walk in peace?" "Ah," said Menon, "You're a fine one to talk. If you'd put one at the end of yours we could have caught a bus."

Poetry of a Burnout mom

I have no time to stand and stare, no time to comb my long black hair,
no time to take a little nap, thanks to my naughty lil' chap.
Forget about the morning news, need to keep an eye on him, lest a toy he chews.
I can't admire the blue sky and clouds, as chappy runs fast and may get lost in crowds.
I've got to bathe him, change him and clean him too, whenever he falls kiss him and say "I Love You".
His breakfasts and soups I need to prepare, need to pick up his toys scattered everywhere.
I'm exhausted at the end of the day, but I won't have it any other way
No holidays, salaries or bonuses,
But being a MOM surely has its pluses,
Cause' this job of 'MOM' is a lot of fun,
To love and care for my little one.

The Pawar slap

When I heard the news of the 'Pawar' power slap, I thought Mr. Harvinder Singh deserved a bow and a clap.
It takes great courage and a lot of guts,
To slap these powerful corrupted nuts.
Pawar is just one of a thousand twisted netas,
Who fill up their pockets and fund their spoilt betas.
73 bucks that's the price of petrol,
And inflation rising going totally out of control.
Why are we made to pay taxes and duties,
When the roads are pot-holed and made with substandard inventory.
Money is used to build hotels and MBA schools,
Whilst these politicians are making common men, scapegoats and fools.
Ipl, 3g,Cwg are just a few scams and scandals,
Oh, there's much more but its too hard to digest and handle.
Why do we have such netas like Raja and Kalmadi,
And Modi and Advani creating communal disharmony.
What have these netas done to our great nation,
Wasting time over renaming cities and stations.
A country rich in varied traditions and cultures,
But also filled with greedy political vultures.
When will we ever see that day, where what is due to us, we don't need to pay.
And not encourage corruption, let's strive hard and pray.


Check out this link on you tube Harvinder Singh slap to the tune of Kolaveri di: http://m.youtube.com/?client=mv-rim#/watch?v=uIhQm6gcUCw

The Proposal

I'm standing in front of my mirror, it's half past eight,
Today I am going to propose and she will decide my fate.
We love each other and we've been together for a really long time,
And today I've finally decided to ask her to be mine.

But I'm still in a quandary as to how to propose,
Should I carry a bottle of the best red wine and a crimson rose?
Should I drop the ring in a glass of champagne and order caviar
Or just keep it simple and like Springsteen strum a love song on my guitar.
Is it appropriate to propose on bended knee, in a fancy restaurant for everyone to see?
Or in a little private place, where candles are brightly lit and the table is covered with lovely white lace
And the hall is adorned with orchids and lilies,
Do you think I'm going overboard and being a bit too silly?
Or should I forget about the fancies and frills,
on seeing the ring, she'll surely be thrilled.
It's platinum with a huge diamond rock
thanks to the bank loan and sale of some heavy weight stocks.

But I've still not decided how am I going to ask?
Is proposing to a woman such a big task?
Oh no, nine chimes , the clock has struck,
Please pray for me and wish me luck
That I succeed in the proposal test
as I ask my beloved to join me in our marital conquest.

The oohs and aahs of Pregnancy(3 trimesters)

First month:
"You're pregnant" said the doctor in her voice so thick, "no wonder you've been feeling dizzy and sick"
My memory flash backed one month to that passionate night,
Thank you darling Hubby for putting me in this plight.
I'm feeling nausea and want to throw up,
Oh God nine months is too long for that baby to show up.

Third month:
Back at the doctor,three months have passed time has really, really moved fast,
The scale tilts to the right shows I've put on some weight,
But I don't really care as I'm feeling great.
Today I get to see my baby finally,
Hope all is well , I pray silently.
I can see something move, peanut size,
"Its my baby" happily I yell while a tear trickles down my left eye.
"All is fine" doctor smiles and happily states,
It's a miracle, really God you are great.

Six months:
Now I've moved to month number six,
No longer I feel dizzy, funny or sick.
All I want to do is eat, eat, and eat.
At this rate, I won't be able to see my two feet.
There is no semblance of a little bump,
My tummy is getting bigger and I'm getting plump.
I've never ever felt this energetic before,
Earlier I would wake up grumpy at six but now I wake up happily at four.
I can feel little burps and even lil' kicks,
Who is there inside?
Lil' Ronaldo or Jimi Hendrix.
I wonder at times if it's a boy or a girl,
Is it a Michael, Michelle or Myrle?
"Baby is good but you've put on lots of weight" the doctor says wryly,
I smile back and think I'll "Weight" and watch what the last trimester lays before me.

8-9 months:
At last, I can see two proper hands and feet,
Wow, It's a full fledged baby, our creation is really neat.
But that's the sonography we've got to see,
When will I finally see my baby in reality.
When is that baby coming out,
I feel like a well fed duck waddling all about.
My feet and hands are swollen, I'm nice and fat,
Thanks to my lil' unborn brat.
"When will I deliver?", grumbles impatient me
I'm really cool if the baby is a she or a he.
It's just that my patience is running out,
Baby please hurry, I promise not to shout.
Oh no, I think my water has burst,
God, please take me safely to the hospital first,
My time has come finally to deliver,
And cherish these moments forever and ever.

Life

Life is a gift given to us,
We must learn to accept it and not make a fuss.
It is wrapped with highs and sometimes lows,
sometimes brickbats, bouquets and blows.
It's filled with laughter and with pain,
Success, failure and even gain.
Yes, there's happiness and tragedies too
We've got to accept it, there's nothing much we can do.
Life is a gift God has sent our way,
Let's make the most of it and 'LIVE' each day.

About meeeee ....

I am an Indian from Dubai city,

a female and nearing thirty three,

I am a home maker and a good one too,

I've got a lil toddler nearing two.

I love music, art and reading a good book,

Love food and even love  to cook.

But most of all what I love to do

Is make people smile

And sometimes laugh too.

That's the reason I've created "Smiles and Laughter"

To wipe away your tears and keep you in good cheer,

With funny sayings, poems and quotes,

Funny pictures and lifes anecdotes.

So visit my blog and enjoy the ride,

And I hope it leaves you with a happy feeling inside.