Life as compared to a train journey...

Our lives can be easily compared to train journeys,
because both life and a train journey have many similarities.

I boarded the 9.30 AM Bandra local on 15th February, 1979,
on a bright Thursday morn.
That's the day I started on this train of life,
my so called Sojourn.
At first I was accompanied only by my parents and grandparents
but as I passed from one station to another,
this train was boarded by more passengers seated in various compartments.

Some were acquaintances, some were relatives,
some strangers and some friends,
some continued on their journey with me,
and some had to alight at a particular station
as their journey had come to a definite end.

Some passengers made good travelling companions who I knew would accompany me till my final destination,
but some were the temporary ticketless travellers who decided to alight suddenly at the first few stations.
And then I had this one passenger who suddenly came along,
who promised me, to be part of my train ride,
now matter how far the destination
or the journey, be it....enjoyable, tiring or long.

On this train journey, I've faced sudden halts, jolts, blockages and derailments,
but till date this journey on the train of life has been "paisa vasool" entertainment, entertainment and entertainment... ( love that Vidya Balan line)
There have been some dark dreary tunnels which I've also passed along the way,
but there have been beautiful visions of mountainous sceneries, of bright blue skies, lush green hillsides
and sunflowers swaying to the song of the lilting breeze, on most days.

But for me the most important part of this journey on my life's train
is the entry and exit of my co-passengers,
those who've given me a memorable experience,
love, laughter, friendship, marriage,motherhood, joy,
even hurt, strife, sadness and pain.

My Good Ole' Scooter days.....

After ages I've seen a scooter in Dubai,
this brought back super nostalgia of my 'Kineee" days in Mumbai.
Remember being gifted one by the parents for scoring 84% in the tenth grade,
for me that was and is the best present till date.
It was jet black, my new Kinetic Honda, Zx with strips of red, grey and white,
MH-02 G - 4806, bought in the monsoon in 1994, July.

Ahhhhh.... those were the days when I would zip, zap, cut corners and zoom,
where I could feel the wind in my hair,
ride without a helmet, though later the mop on top, felt like a coir broom.
Enjoyed the rain drops on my weather beaten face and getting drenched to the skin in the pouring rain
but wearing those semi soft contacts lenses,
Oh God....for me, that was indeed the biggest pain!

Riding to college and Shah Classes was also memorable
I was referred to as " Kineticwalli"
as Mr. Shah found "Charmaine" extremely unpronounceable.
I remember taking college mates and school friends for joyrides on my scooter,
father, mother, brother, aunties, uncles and even going to the bazaar with my 79 year old neighbour.
but the fun part was giving a lift everyday to a classmate, an Aamir Khan look alike from NIIT to St. Andrew's
I resembled a giraffe sitting infront of this cute goatie bearded Tom Cruise.

Those were the days when I'd actually plough the bike to the gas station,
as I'd ride till I'd empty the tank without an iota of realisation.
And you'd think I'd learn from my silly mistake,
but I didn't, after all I was just 16 for God's sake.
Tyre punctures, empty tanks, I've been through it all,
and at times, I've skidded, bruised my knee and had many a fall.

Sadly those bike riding days came to an end,
because when you start working,
you can't look like a Golliwog and tell your employer,
your hairstyle is in fashion and you're starting a new trend.

If wishes were horses, I wish I could ride,
a scooter again where I presently reside,
but if I try to now, my "fair and lovely" skin would surely go,
and I won't look like a Mocktail Bawi like I did before.

FACEBOOKING, TWITTERING AND GOOGLING...THE NEW VERBS

With the invention of social networking and advancement in technology,
Oxford and Macmillan will have to soon update their dictionaries.
So I thought of some verbs which form part of the new terminology
but are used and in future will be used by us,
freely and literally.

Let's start with FACEBOOKING,
Now that's a new verb,
because instead of saying "I am on facebook",
just say " I am Facebooking" instead,
it doesn't sound all that weird.

FRIEND/ UNFRIEND
Remember those days when you fought with your friend and made up later,
you'd say with your index and middle finger "Batti"
or with your little finger, "khatti" if you were still angry with her.
How I miss those days of " Khattis or Battis"
but now if you don't want to be a friend with someone,
you have to go on Facebook and unfriend them virtually.

BLOCK
Earlier we could just slap some lasvicious guy or eve teaser if any of us, he/she stalked,
but now with technology, besides doing the above,
we've to ensure that on Facebook,
his/her access to our profile, we've blocked.

POST
Long gone are the days of posting postcards, greeting cards or handwritten letters ,
now with Facebook why waste time and money,
when you can post your message on their "Wall",
or even post a shorter one on Twitter.

SHARE
Alas...That's such a wonderful word,
sadly, now there is much more meaning to this verb,
because in the virtual world, to share means much much more,
not only quotes, notes but also inspirational and holy/ unholy photos galore.

LIKE/DISLIKE
In the non virtual world, if you liked something you'd smile
or if you didn't you'd cringe or frown,
but in the virtual world, if you like something on Facebook,
you click on a Thumbs Up
and if you don't, you click on Thumbs down.

TWEET
Tweet Tweet that usually is the sweet sound of a little sparrow, the homely bird,
but now Tweet means "to say or speak or state" which I find extremely absurd.
" Priyanka tweeted or Shahrukh tweeted and they all tweeted" that's all I read in newspapers,
looks like the whole of Bollywood, Hollywood, Mollywood and Tollywood, everyone's on Twitter.
But Twitter is also accessed by "aam junta" and all and sundry,
cause' everyone wants their voice to be heard and and be part of the so called "Twitteratti"!

GOOGLED
Earlier we would say, we searched for x or y on the world wide web,
but since Google is the main search engine,
why not say " Googled" instead.

So Friends, family and netizens, remember these new verbs and their meanings,
if we are on Twitter we have to say we are Tweeting,
if we are on Facebook, we're Facebooking,
and if we are doing a search on Google,
it has to be " Googling"
but seriously.....to me all this sounds extremely mind boggling!!!!

A Poem to My Best Friends Forever ( BFFs)

Into our lives, some people come, some walk away and some people leave never,
I know that there's the latter kind where we'll be Best Friends Forever (BFF)
We laugh with them, we fight with them
and with them do the silliest of things,
so when I rewind back my life,
happy memories of these BFFs, it does bring.

Never-ending talks, incessant chatter and brisk long walks in parks or on sloped roads,
ups and downs, hellos and goodbyes,
dialogues for our crushes which we rehearsed and " maraoed"
There are numerous funny incidents still fresh in my memory,
these bring back bouts of nostalgia, making me squeal out with glee.
Oh yes, there were days when these BFFs have fought with me, troubled me and driven me round the bend,
but such friendships are like "Gujarat Ambuja Cement"
where the foundation is so " majboot", they can never ever, ever end.

Such friends are one of a kind, marvelous and extremely rare,
I know that if I'm down and out, just a line and they'll be there.
I am not trying to butter them up, but I hope they know....
that they mean a lot to me,
And may God always shower on them, his choicest blessings,
Dear BFFs, "Besties" we will always be!

Do you have a Dark Side??

Dark side, a song by Kelly Clarkson has been playing in my head all week
She sings " everybody has a dark side" 
and I've realised that's the absolute truth you see!

We all are a mix of Dr. Jekyll and a bit of Mr. Hyde,
we all have a lot of good in us and there's also the little bad, 
which we supposedly call " The Dark Side"!

"Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.” 
quoted the famous  Mark Twain 
Cause even a spotless white shirt or a white washed wall 
many a times gets tainted with stains.

So what exactly is this dark side that I'm talking about,
is it anger, is it greed, is it gluttony, is it lust, wrath,suspicion or uncontrollable doubt.
Does the dark side only exist in me or just in you,
No.....everyone in this universe has one,
friends, family, spouses even priests and nuns too.
It's the wrong voices in our head telling us to to do wrong or be mean,
the voices which control our mind,
egging us on to gossip,gamble, smoke or get drunk on a bottle of Jim Beam.

So do you overcome your dark side or does it overpower you,
if it does my friend, then you have a lot of dismantling to do.
Because no can help you, except you....yourself,
no Superman, Spiderman, Hermione or Harry Potter spells.

We all have a Voldemort, a Green Goblin or a Grinch living inside of us,
it's sometimes wonderful living on the dark side,
So why the devil am I creating such a fuss!!
Because I know my dark side and I'm trying to fight it,
why not defeat your dark side,
so that we all together make the world,
a happier place to live in,
why don't you try it!!

Barfiii....Delicious Indeed!!!

If you've not tasted Anurag Basu's Barfii,
then, go taste it quickly,
Cause' it's one of a kind, made delectably.
It's made with ingredients, in proportionate measure,
Not too sugary sweet,but a small bite of Barfi will indeed give you immense pleasure.

So just like the mithai, the movie is palatable,
not too heart wrenching, but optimistically enjoyable.
Set against the beautiful misty Darjeeling with its lush greenery,
the charm of the old steam engines chugging noisily,
with the fairy tale love between Barfi and Shruti on a bicycle made for two,
followed by heart break, which doesn't make the effervescent deaf-mute Barfi,
cry uncontrallably in mute "boo hoo".

Because if you're not lucky in love the first time,
lady luck will surely shine on you again with her signature Colgate "Barfi"smile
And that's what is shown when Barfi and Jhilmil meet,
that love is unconditional and no autism or any disability,
such pure love can defeat.

The innocent love is portrayed beautifully by Ranbir and Priyanka,
especially the parts shot in the cramped up apartment overlooking the Hooghly in Kolkata.
Ranbir Kapoor with time, I've realised is one of India's most talented actor,
leaving us speechless literally with the most challenging role of his career.
His acting cannot be compared to Charlie Chaplin, who I always found slap stick
he is far superior in his new avatar, which personally I find stylishly slick.
For Priyanka Chopra, there's only one word for her performance and that's Bravo,
with her buck teeth, awkwardness, frocks, socks, buckled shoes, need I say more.
Ileana does justice to her role as the beautiful but sad Bong Bahu,
playing her role with conviction and making a commendable Bollywood debut.

For me Barfi is a simplistic, compassionate love story,
encompassed in 2 hours 40 minutes by Anurag Basu beautifully.
The cinematography, the music are both tres magnifique,
it is a movie which indeed captures your heart and creates a quirky sort of magic.

So go indulge in this Barfi, forget about your diet,
this movie will leave you with a taste of happiness,
enjoy it to your hearts content
and I am sure for long you'll savour it.

Is Curvy the new skinny..." Voluption" is in...

"Voluptuous is beautiful, ask men", states Vidya Balan in The Times of India,
Obviously, Vidya, when they all suffer from hypermetropeia!!
If you notice, their favourite letter of the English alphabet is "B",
I hope you understand, I don't wish to sound vulgar and elaborate too much on the female anatomy.
I'm just being jocose, my male friends,
no offense, but seriously,
a little flesh here and there,
is certainly to the naked eye, pleasurable to see. ;)

Who dare say size zero is the newest trend,
when the epitome of voluptuousness, Silk Smitha, picturised by  Vidya,
makes all of us " healthy" women, our voluptuous curves defend.
Take a look at Beyonce, Kim Kardashian, Mariah Carey and J Lo,
even Santa Clause with his barrel shaped tummy looks best, when he goes " Ho Ho Ho ".

A picture of the flat chested Keira Knightley had to be retouched by photoshop for " King Arthur",
because in the sixth century, the women were more rotund and their chests fuller. 
Cameron Diaz and Taylor Swift have undergone upper " rack" augmentation surgeries,
even Vogue made an anorexic Lady Gaga with photoshop in their August issue,
look a little curvy.

Curvy maybe the new skinny, it seems to be the latest fashion,
but who cares about  thin vs curvy,
if your body " works" and carries out it's allocated functions.

Imagine the amount of money saved, if women didn't waste it on  augmentations , diet pills or cellulite treatments,
instead they generously used it towards education, charity or societal betterment.

Cause' the world is very beautiful in reality,
it's just the way you want to look at it,
Tall, short, dark, light,  curvy or skinny!

Two Hundred Blogs up....Thank you all!!

An idle mind is a devil's workshop, they say,
But thankfully, I'm always blessed with enough of work,
I have had no time to while it away.

When I moved to Dubai a year and a half ago,
I had made a conscious decision, 
career woman I wanted to be no more.
And with the passage of time I soon realized, I made the right choice,
I enjoy being a homemaker, spending time my boys.

But besides, household chores, I've got a chance to explore,
Writing, painting, reading and concocting dishes galore.
I enjoy putting thoughts on paper as soon as they cross my mind,
the amusing part is when I think, it always has to rhyme.

It's been ten months since I've been writing on diverse topics,
be it sports, movies, celebrities, my own experiences or views and Indian politics.
I'm happy people enjoy reading the blog, I've been told, messaged and mailed many times
they are written straight from the heart you see,
I'm sure they've  brought many laughs, tears and smiles.

So please continue to do so, enjoy reading " Charmaine's Smiles and Laughter"
today with this post I complete TWO HUNDRED,
hopefully, I continue to write and make you all smile, laugh and cry, forever and ever after!

Cooking by an Ex Undomesticated Unskilled Culinarian

Cooking as defined by Wikipedia is "The process of preparing food, often with the use of heat".
But  pre- marriage, forget cooking, I disliked the smell and touch of raw fish and cold meat.
Cooking in my purview was just frying eggs or making a cup of tea,
but post marriage, Cooking has turned into a therapeutic art for me.
You see, I was told, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach,
so in order to reserve a nice big room in my husband's heart, 
my culinary skills, I had to hurriedly develop.

And as time passed, I realized cooking is indeed a lot of fun,
If you venture into it with positivity, half the job is already done.
When you cook with joy, trouble free, 
your food, a beautiful sonnet, sings,
and if your family loves and relishes it,
more happiness and satisfaction, cooking always brings.

Cooking can also be abusive to the body and accidental,
but to your soul or health it's never detrimental.
Oh yes, the slicing and chopping of onions, 
they always make me cry,
and I always commit the faux pas of  putting a chilli powdered finger,
into a lensed eye.
Little splashes of hot oil make me jump and yelp, when I fry shrimp or legs of chicken,
and sometimes without realizing, I've burnt my favourite  " Super Chef" cooking mitten.

But then,... I think of the cooking gas calling me lovingly  " Come on baby light my fire",
which makes me fall in love with cooking all over again and never makes me tire
The lovely sound of the crackle of mustard and cumin seeds when you dunk them into hot oil,
the jiggy wiggy dance of eggs when you put them in water to boil.
The aromas of garlic, pepper and green chilli when you prepare a honey chilli fish,
add a bit of soya, ginger, vinegar and you get a really scrumptious dish.
The aromatic basmati rice which gives you a feeling of elation,
when each grain looks best, long and segregated, 
though they may not enjoy their separation.

The feeling of soft dough between your fingers which you knead for chapatis,
the softness of flour, chocolate, oil and eggs,
which you mix rapidly  for creating chocolate chip cookies.
The concoction of various herbs and spices and meats and vegetables,
the colours, the sights,  touch, the sizzles, the whistles,
makes cooking an art which I now love and find it most enjoyable!

I may not be a Jamie Oliver, a Sanjeev Kapoor, a Cordon Bleu chef or a Nigella Lawson,
but I've made a way to my husband's heart by enlarging his stomach ;)
that itself makes me, a very happy Culinarian!!

My Secret Love Affair with the Treadmill!

Aah it's been so long since I've got onto you, my love,
the husband is off to work and son off to school,
so it's just you and me
and maybe God watching from above.

Let's  take it slow, it's been a long time,
just feeling your steely body,
makes my mouth curl up into a wide smile.
Let's start with a warm up and then increase the pace,
don't want to gush and blush and turn all red in the face.
I can feel beads of sweat dripping from my hair on to my neck
don't want any of it to fall on you and leave a speck.
Ooooo, I love the way you make my legs move,
you really know how to get ole me march to your groove.

You've got me all tired, you've got me all hot,
30 minutes have passed fast, 
I was so enraptured by you,
That I almost forgot!

Sorry will have to leave you now, have to go back to housework,
and don't want to pick up the son late,
But don't worry, my darling,
Will meet you tomorrow same time, same place,
for our secret workout date!

Lost Friendships....Why????

Why is this world filled with so much anger and hate,
When will such strong feelings from this world emancipate!
But forget the whole world, let's take a peek into our own lives,
where anger, hatred and misunderstandings thrive.
Where friends becomes foes because of a wrong word said,
at one time they were inseparable,
but now prefer being strangers instead.

Misunderstandings taking place due to lack of communication,
leading to a break in friendship and dissipation.
Sometimes truth hurts and many people don't like what you've said,
I guess in such cases, it's better to lie instead.
But if you can't be truthful to your friends,
what sense does it make,
to continuously be politically correct,
which is frustrating, for Gods sake!!

Why are friendships with time becoming egotistical
when indeed it's a relationship which is truly magical.
Why can't misunderstandings and anger be forgotten,
Why do egos always come in the way,
and why can't we just suffer from amnesia
and say "All izz well " the very next day.

Life is too short and unpredictable, it's better to forgive and forget,
cause' one day you'll realise that person is no more,
which sadly you may regret.
Time will pass, wounds will heal but one cannot turn back the hands of time,
so don't break up, instead make up and forge lasting friendships forever with a smile.

Memories of Bandra Fair....

Memories of the Bandra fair clog my memory,
of the one week celebration held in honour of the birthday of Mother Mary.
Roads jam packed with hawkers selling different kinds of wares
from name on rice to t- shirts to fake Gucci Glares.

Mount Carmel Church also has their own September Garden now known as Carmelmela,
with giant wheel, roller coaster rides and Dhin chak music for all Bandra and non Bandra  girlies and "Buggas".
People screeching from baskets high up on the giant wheel,
and foodies enjoying a variety of Goan, Mangalorean or East Indian meals.
Candy floss and hot popcorn, a super combination,
and " Khaas" BEST buses plying tirelessly from Bandstand to Bandra station.

Long whipping canes bought by  parents to discipline disobedient kids, 
I'm sure yours and mine did too!
and  toy drums of different sizes painted red, yellow and blue.

Piggy banks in the shape of 'matkas' made from clay,
and kids blowing horns, eve teasers whistling or purposefully blocking your way.

Mount Mary steps filled with sellers selling Buddhi ka Baal, Aam Papad, garma garma black skinned channas,
and also stone hard soan halwa, sticky Bombay halwa and asli banana chips straight from Kerala.

Traffic jams, incessant car honking, noise reaching new decibel levels,
are all part of the fun and frolic of this chaotic Bandra fair
making the whole experience indeed very enjoyable.
Yes, I pity the residents who have to put up with this mindless horn blowing and bedlam,
luckily it's only a seven day celebration and harmless mayhem.

But Mayhem or madness, the Bandra fair is indeed unforgettable for me,
Though far away, it still brings back nostalgic memories of delightful times, 
spent with great friends and family.

My letter to a Politician to stop local discrimination

Dear Mr. Politician,

Why are you creating such a harried confusion,
On the north Indian, south Indian, Bangalore- Mumbai immigration.
Aren't we all Indians, who belong to one nation,
Then why this incessant discrimination.
Why do you have sleepless nights over the Bihari babus and UP bhaiyas,
Instead of spending your time wisely on controlling petrol prices or the falling " Rupaiya"

Such racial discrimination has now trickled down to the masses,
which manifests on Indian roads with racial comments, stares and lewd passes.
Where a north east Indian is murdered in the south for being a north Indian 
And a south Indian is harassed in the west for his western " infiltration".
It is the constitutional right of all citizens to live in any part of India and seek employment,
then who has given you the right to pass such racial discriminatory judgements.

Someone in the tabloids mentioned you're ancestors were from another state,
then why between north, south, east and west you discriminate.
Very soon to move to other states we'll need visas,
if we are from Bihar or Karnataka and want to work in Maharashtra.
Why do you need to create such hate and always be considered a chauvinistic villain.
Is it a tactic to get more votes for the upcoming election!
When the city that never sleeps is known for its cosmopolitanism,
they why do you over and over again display acts of parochialism.

Lastly, You must remember that we are Indians first, of a  rich and varied heritage,
" India is my country and  all Indians are my brothers and sisters",
if you recollect, it's mentioned in the Indian National Pledge.

Yours sincerely,
A Troubled Indian

My lil poem to Mikhail

Ten little fingers, ten little toes,
One tiny lil "Parsi" nose,
Oh Mikhail you've suddenly grown,
Now into the world you've to venture alone.
Don't worry you're just off to play school,
not to fight or wage a  war,
but now you'll be away from "mommy" for over three long hours.

And in those three hours what's your mum going to do,
Well, she's going to chill and relax and maybe play a game of sudoku,
She'll read the newspaper, do her word games and crosswords,
listen to her favourite music and a few old time ballads.
She'll go for walks in the morning or maybe hit the gym,
It's high time she loses the flab and looks svelte and slim and trim.
She can bathe in peace now, which is indeed a luxury,
not shower in five minutes and rush out in a hurry.
She can do her cooking and baking without you coming in her way,
without any interruptions of football games which you always make her play.
She'll spend some time in prayer and meditation which she always wanted to do,
you're not there to distract her and make a hullabaloo.

Yes, your mum is enjoying her free time, she's spending it with ME,
but without you the house doesn't feel like a home,
it's too clean and neat and empty.