ABCs of a Husband to a Wife...

A is for Appetite which is common in men,
they are voracious, edacious eaters,
so remember, when you're cooking for four,
ensure you've cooked for ten.

B is for Bed of which he occupies the most,
they'll spread their legs and stretch,
and if there's a kid in-between,
then bid farewell to getting even one-fourth.

C is for Cars which they are crazy about,
they won't ogle at a woman as much,
but at a Maserati or Ferrari 
they'll drool over no doubt.

D is for Driving which they feel they know best,
so even if he's lost his way and you intervene with your directions,
he'll act like he's right and put your patience to the test.

E is for Ego which in most men is a common trait,
comparisons made to other men or husbands,
is something husbands dislike and hate.

F is for Finances which is best if left to them to manage,
as long as our shopping sprees and needs are funded,
why bite off more than we can chew,
and cause unnecessary financial damage.

G is for Grocery shopping which they're not very good in,
they may buy 100 grams of beans instead of 500 grams,
which for a single person isn't sufficient.

H is for Housework which if the husband says he'll do,
don't expect him to start immediately,
but he'll do it at his own leisure and pace,
he may not start midday but before the day ends...hopefully.

I is for IPad which is the husband's favourite pastime in the loo,
earlier it was the newspaper,
But now that has been replaced by the IPad,
where he plays online football, tennis and sudoku.

J is for Jokey which they mostly are,
when it comes to joking about their wives,
Husbands take the cake so far.

K is for Kids, he may want none or one,
he may want to adopt a dog instead,
but let him know that better than ruining just a rug,
ruining your lives together with a kid is more fun.

L is for Laundry, a chore in which he feels he's an expert,
he may not do it at all,
but he'll instruct how to wash his pants, his socks,
and how to scrub the collar of his shirt.

M is for Movies which mostly are sci-fi, thrillers or action,
he may accompany you for romantic tear jerking movies,
but that's just for your happiness and satisfaction.

N is for Neckties which he always can't seem to find,
they may be staring right at him,
but he'll always call you to help,
hoping you won't mind.

O is for Orders which husbands are famous in giving,
they'll order what they want for lunch, dinner and dessert,
but if they love what you cook,
Forget mothers-in-law,
from your hands they'll forever be eating.

P is for Presents which he may not always surprise you and give,
but as long as he's present whenever you need him,
happy with him you'll always live.

Q is for Questions he may ask when he sees a big bill,
if you spend everything in his lifetime,
he'll have nothing to leave for you in his will.

R is for Reasoning in which they think they are masters,
they'll give you a hundred reasons as to why you made a mistake,
but if they want to do something,
no reasoning can change their minds made of hard, cold alabaster.

S is for Snores which will keep you awake late into the night,
you may try to sleep with the noise,
but one loud snore is sufficient,
to make you jump up in fright.

T is for Television to which they are glued,
if there's football or cricket on TV,
they won't be distracted or lose concentration,
if you shave your head bald or stand in the nude.

U is for Underwear which for the husband you may have to buy,
even though you feel awkward or embarrassed 
or blush pink shy.

V is for Vocal which most men are not,
he'll answer in yes, no and okay,
and mostly keep mum,
if he knows your birthday he forgot.

W is for Wallet which he'll use till it tears,
husbands feel it's lucky for them,
and unlimited currency notes it bears.

X is for Xerox copies of actors they like to ape,
be it the little beard of Aamir Khan,
or the Hair style of Salman Khan or Professor Snape.

Y is for Young which they always act the opposite of,
especially when it comes to housework,
or throwing garbage in the garbage Shute or garbage box.

Z is for Zanny, zippy, zealous, zesty, they are all made up of this combination,
if they didn't have these zees in them,
we wives wouldn't have for them,
such strong love and admiration.