Saturday, October 6, 2012

A to Z of Marriage to a Husband....

A - is for Adore and Acceptance of your wife just the way she is,
If you don't, you'll be paying the other A for Alimony
and can bid farewell to marital bliss.

B - Be best friends with each other, a mate and lover,
But don't ogle at her best friends,
though they may look hotter than her.

C - C is for Compromise, something you'll have to do more often than not,
but please don't be caught in a compromising position,
you may scar her for life or give her a shock.

D - Discover new things together, new positions, new ways,
But remember she's moody at times too,
so be prepared for some " dry days"!

E - Encourage her in her every endeavor, even if she is dreadful at it,
because if you commit the fallacy of pointing it out,
She has memorized all your shortcomings, 
and may  have even made a list.

F - Forgive her if she overspends or exceeds the credit card limit,
because for every purchase made, even though frivolous, 
she'll ensure that she has an excuse which is very legitimate.

G - G is for Gifts which she loves to receive,
not only on special occasions or birthdays and anniversaries.
Gifts can be given throughout the year,
so don't forget to budget it, 
in your monthly expenditure.

H - H is for Humour, for her a very important quality indeed,
because with time,from a hunk you may turn into a bald toothless tub of lard,
but if you Humour her always,
she'll be by your side, even at the ripe old age of eighty.

I - I is for Inspiration, you must always be,
which will stimulate her both emotionally and mentally,
But do not be the I for Irritation, if she's burnt the chicken,
because then you would have stimulated her verbally.

J - J is for Joking with her and having fun,
but not joking about her always, in front of everyone,
Because if you do, you can say hello to the couch,
And thank God if she's not yet thrown you out of the house.   

K - K is for Kisses which are strictly meant for her,
in health and in sickness if she's down with high fever,
and also ensure to continue those kisses,
when she's not waxed or bleached and resembles a hairy beaver.

L - L is for Loving her with all your heart,
even with her burps, belches and noisy farts.
Loving her completely both body and soul,
though many a times, in your pocket,
she burns a big hole.

M - M is for Make up which you need to do first after a fight,
because if you want a happy marriage, 
don't forget, to acknowledge that the wife is always right.

N - N is for No a word which you must strike out from your vocabulary,
because after marriage, the wife loves to hear the word " yes" from her husband's mouth, positively and emphatically.

O - O is for Open minded, a mindset which after marriage you need to adopt,
don't fret if she's late from work or she's bought a dress with the plunging neckline,
she's wearing it so that for you, she'll always look " hot".

P - P is for "Putting things back in the correct place", a skill which you need to develop,
because men have this disgusting habit of using things,
and leaving them anywhere, for the poor wife to clean or pick up.

Q - Q is to be Quiet when she is angry and never whisper a word,
Because if you do so my friend
you'll be scolded at and abused in the most colourful language,
you've never ever heard.

R - R is to Remember important days and remember her clothes,
because men have memories like a sieve,
and can't remember what their wives wore yesterday,
or even that special day, when they proposed.

S -  is for Saying  'I love you' to your wife,
and meaning every word that you say,
you may take the ' I love you' for granted,
but your wife loves hearing those three little words,
each and every, single day.

T - T is for the Time taken to spend with your wife,
and spent only with her,
not time spent with the IPad or television,
or reading a book or the morning newspaper.

U - U is to be Understanding even when she's not,
especially during those painful few days every month,
causing mood swings and emotional upswings,
and causing her to cut like a knife and be blunt.

V - V is for Vague answers  which she does not like,
she doesn't like beating around the bush and prefers answers to the point.
So if she asks you "what you're thinking?",
and you vaguely say nothing, 
don't be surprised if you see your wife, in the kitchen grumpy and scowling.

W - W is for not Waking her up with your horrific loud snores,
you'll keep her up all night so please do something about it,
or else you'll have to make your bed on the cold hard floor.

X - X is for Xylol a colorless flammable volatile liquid which you must never be,
if she volatile and throwing bouts of insanity.
Because too much volatility will cause unnecessary disruptions,
which will eventually lead to a marriage dysfunction.

Y - Y is for Yawning which you must not when she talks and talks,
because if you do, she'll ensure to her conversation,
there'll never be a comma or a full and final stop.

Z - Z is for Zealous and dedication to  her you must always show,
because only with love, commitment, zeal and dedication,
will you and your wife in a  marriage, 
happily always grow.

No comments:

Post a Comment